Take your time. Don't worry about what I'm thinking, okay? Just tell me what you want and why. Then I'll talk.
[For now he stays quiet so that way Fran can get his thoughts out, just stroking his back with his thumbs as he watches him. If those are the rules he wants to change then Bull's got no problem with that. But, it is important that Fran tells him why and what change he wants.
Since he might need time to say it? Well he wants him to have that.]
Well I guess I'll just... So, you know the Galleria things they set up? I ended up modeling for a few of the displays. It was mostly fine, I had a safeword and everything. But they had me restrained and blindfolded. And I thought I was okay. [He laughs a little, an uneven curve of his mouth.]
I was not okay. But I can't-- When things get heated it's hard for me to know where the lines are. I didn't realize it was wrong until someone saved me from it. And sometimes... I can get so overwhelmed I don't know if I could say anything. I'm also not sure I'd actually be able to use it if something actually distressing happened.
And that would be more or less okay if most people here didn't seem to think that safewords are actually safe and infallible. But they do, and that's the part that scares me.
[He sighs, trying to put the things he's talking about into one piece.] So with people I don't know-- it works better without one, because at least then I have some trust they'll actually pay attention instead of just believing that everything is perfectly fine because I didn't say blueberry pie.
[He fidgets a little, trying to not feel nervous as he looks at Bull.]
So-- I use them with people I trust. But I think that using them with people I don't know actually makes things less safe, at least for me.
[While he's got opinions on this, Bull just nods for now. After all, he said he'd let Fran get all of his thoughts out. That means he'll hold true that and just listen like he said he would.]
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nehraachargers) wrote2019-11-17 03:10 pm
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[For now he stays quiet so that way Fran can get his thoughts out, just stroking his back with his thumbs as he watches him. If those are the rules he wants to change then Bull's got no problem with that. But, it is important that Fran tells him why and what change he wants.
Since he might need time to say it? Well he wants him to have that.]
no subject
I was not okay. But I can't-- When things get heated it's hard for me to know where the lines are. I didn't realize it was wrong until someone saved me from it. And sometimes... I can get so overwhelmed I don't know if I could say anything. I'm also not sure I'd actually be able to use it if something actually distressing happened.
And that would be more or less okay if most people here didn't seem to think that safewords are actually safe and infallible. But they do, and that's the part that scares me.
[He sighs, trying to put the things he's talking about into one piece.] So with people I don't know-- it works better without one, because at least then I have some trust they'll actually pay attention instead of just believing that everything is perfectly fine because I didn't say blueberry pie.
[He fidgets a little, trying to not feel nervous as he looks at Bull.]
So-- I use them with people I trust. But I think that using them with people I don't know actually makes things less safe, at least for me.
no subject