[He's all soft edges, silky peach fabric from when he'd been out to the theater earlier, hadn't bothered to change after coming back since he knew Bull would be over soon.
But he waves Bull into the small space that is his room in public housing. Not exactly shy about it this time since he's seen it before. Even if it is all cramped edges and everything else, hardly fit for guests. There's a reason he's here as little as he can manage.]
Face-to-face is probably easier, anyway. And I rather like yours.
[Ducking inside, he stays ducked down until he can find a chair to sit in. It creaks a bit under his weight but doesn't look like it'll break. He sighs and rolls his shoulders before smiling at him.]
Got some great news for you because I really like looking at yours too.
[Bull waves for him to come closer so he can wrap his arms around him. Not get on his lap at this point because who knows if the chair can take that.]
So what's up? You look like you got something on your mind.
[Francis slides over close as Bull gets settled in one of the chairs. Not the most study things, but it's a vague concession to hosting company. He lets him wrap his arms around him, leans into the contact a little.]
Well-- I asked someone if they'd pick up my contract when it lapses. And there were a couple of the rules we talked about the first time I wanted to sort of.. revisit, I guess? So I thought.. you know. Talking.
[Honestly, between El and Caleb he's actually been doing a fair bit of talking about things lately. He's still sort of a mess about it, but he's trying, at least.]
[This is exactly what he wants to hear. It's why he'd made some of the rules to begin with. At the time Fran hadn't known what he'd wanted to he'd added some stuff to them. To give him a safety net until he'd figured out what he wanted.
Sounds like he's got a better idea now. Good.]
Alright. Shoot. What ones do you wanna adjust?
[Simple as that really. Bull doesn't look upset or anything. Just ready to adjust to keep Fran happy.]
Well. The safeword one. But- I can actually tell you why, which I was sort of.. bad at, the first time we talked. And the one about not having other Doms. I don't want fifteen Doms or anything, but I at least need.. There are certain people where I can't help it.
[There's a bit of a flush to his face there, because he's sort of awkward about this stuff. And the only person he's actually talked to about Caleb so far has been El, so it's- different. He laughs a little bit sheepishly, his head ducking to the side.
But Bull doesn't seem at all bothered by the idea, which makes him relax a little, brushing fingers against his shoulders in quiet affection. Helps keep him anchored.]
Take your time. Don't worry about what I'm thinking, okay? Just tell me what you want and why. Then I'll talk.
[For now he stays quiet so that way Fran can get his thoughts out, just stroking his back with his thumbs as he watches him. If those are the rules he wants to change then Bull's got no problem with that. But, it is important that Fran tells him why and what change he wants.
Since he might need time to say it? Well he wants him to have that.]
Well I guess I'll just... So, you know the Galleria things they set up? I ended up modeling for a few of the displays. It was mostly fine, I had a safeword and everything. But they had me restrained and blindfolded. And I thought I was okay. [He laughs a little, an uneven curve of his mouth.]
I was not okay. But I can't-- When things get heated it's hard for me to know where the lines are. I didn't realize it was wrong until someone saved me from it. And sometimes... I can get so overwhelmed I don't know if I could say anything. I'm also not sure I'd actually be able to use it if something actually distressing happened.
And that would be more or less okay if most people here didn't seem to think that safewords are actually safe and infallible. But they do, and that's the part that scares me.
[He sighs, trying to put the things he's talking about into one piece.] So with people I don't know-- it works better without one, because at least then I have some trust they'll actually pay attention instead of just believing that everything is perfectly fine because I didn't say blueberry pie.
[He fidgets a little, trying to not feel nervous as he looks at Bull.]
So-- I use them with people I trust. But I think that using them with people I don't know actually makes things less safe, at least for me.
[While he's got opinions on this, Bull just nods for now. After all, he said he'd let Fran get all of his thoughts out. That means he'll hold true that and just listen like he said he would.]
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nehraachargers) wrote2019-11-17 03:10 pm
no subject
[He's all soft edges, silky peach fabric from when he'd been out to the theater earlier, hadn't bothered to change after coming back since he knew Bull would be over soon.
But he waves Bull into the small space that is his room in public housing. Not exactly shy about it this time since he's seen it before. Even if it is all cramped edges and everything else, hardly fit for guests. There's a reason he's here as little as he can manage.]
Face-to-face is probably easier, anyway. And I rather like yours.
no subject
Got some great news for you because I really like looking at yours too.
[Bull waves for him to come closer so he can wrap his arms around him. Not get on his lap at this point because who knows if the chair can take that.]
So what's up? You look like you got something on your mind.
no subject
[Francis slides over close as Bull gets settled in one of the chairs. Not the most study things, but it's a vague concession to hosting company. He lets him wrap his arms around him, leans into the contact a little.]
Well-- I asked someone if they'd pick up my contract when it lapses. And there were a couple of the rules we talked about the first time I wanted to sort of.. revisit, I guess? So I thought.. you know. Talking.
[Honestly, between El and Caleb he's actually been doing a fair bit of talking about things lately. He's still sort of a mess about it, but he's trying, at least.]
no subject
Sounds like he's got a better idea now. Good.]
Alright. Shoot. What ones do you wanna adjust?
[Simple as that really. Bull doesn't look upset or anything. Just ready to adjust to keep Fran happy.]
no subject
[There's a bit of a flush to his face there, because he's sort of awkward about this stuff. And the only person he's actually talked to about Caleb so far has been El, so it's- different. He laughs a little bit sheepishly, his head ducking to the side.
But Bull doesn't seem at all bothered by the idea, which makes him relax a little, brushing fingers against his shoulders in quiet affection. Helps keep him anchored.]
no subject
[For now he stays quiet so that way Fran can get his thoughts out, just stroking his back with his thumbs as he watches him. If those are the rules he wants to change then Bull's got no problem with that. But, it is important that Fran tells him why and what change he wants.
Since he might need time to say it? Well he wants him to have that.]
no subject
I was not okay. But I can't-- When things get heated it's hard for me to know where the lines are. I didn't realize it was wrong until someone saved me from it. And sometimes... I can get so overwhelmed I don't know if I could say anything. I'm also not sure I'd actually be able to use it if something actually distressing happened.
And that would be more or less okay if most people here didn't seem to think that safewords are actually safe and infallible. But they do, and that's the part that scares me.
[He sighs, trying to put the things he's talking about into one piece.] So with people I don't know-- it works better without one, because at least then I have some trust they'll actually pay attention instead of just believing that everything is perfectly fine because I didn't say blueberry pie.
[He fidgets a little, trying to not feel nervous as he looks at Bull.]
So-- I use them with people I trust. But I think that using them with people I don't know actually makes things less safe, at least for me.
no subject